Fixation on a Co-worker

pick up lines

Fixation On A Coworker

office romance

Dating a coworker can be pretty exciting stuff, but with everything we’ve come to learn about Matt Lauer, the journey to pursuing Geena from accounting has never been so perilous.

However, with those of us in winter-bound regions still in the middle of cuffing season, those long dark nights and long days indoors can increase our impetus of office lovin’.

If you’ve never been involved with a co-worker before, this might not be the best time.

You’re running a serious risk of losing big for the smallest transgression and depending on the value of your job, you’re probably better off sticking with dating apps.

But if you do choose to take the plunge, here are a few pre-#MeToo tips that will remain timeless and help you gauge the risk:

  • Thou shalt not date outside of thy caste – she cannot be your boss and you cannot be hers. In the case of the latter, you run the risk of being accused of power abuse. If she holds power over you, well, use your imagination.


  • Look but don’t touch – some states even extend this guideline to work outings too. There is a tell-tale way for you to have her touch you first and this will help you determine, by the way she touches you, if there’s anything there. (We’ll reveal it later).


  • Is it worth the headache? Just because you chose to go after your co-worker, doesn’t mean you’ll last longer than with any other prospect. If you guys break-up, is it worth the potentially nasty work atmosphere? Is it worth having to go on a job hunt?


  • How much time can you spend with her? Here’s why so many office romances fizzle – over-exposure. How closely do you work with this love-interest? Does she work on a different floor or in a separate department? If so, good – you have a stronger chance of lasting.

Last, but certainly not least – if it’s only about getting laid for you, make sure you make that this is clear to your co-worker. Woe be the man who unleashes the tempest of female scorn in the workplace.


If You’re Dropping Pounds Without Even Trying…

With all the talk we’ve had ‘round these parts about resolutions and getting in shape, there is one factor that’s been overlooked.

Are you presently going through or have ever experienced unintentional weight loss?

You know…you’re not really putting in any physical effort in your quest for a beach body and (whether you’re ready to admit it to yourself or not), you haven’t exactly been laying off the cheesecake?

Turns out “unintentional weight loss” is actual thing in the medical field and it’s cause for alarm.

Your body needs its checks and balances and if there’s not viable reason for your pound-shedding than that is cause for alarm.

If the shapely “new you” isn’t the product of a gym regimen or a cleaner way of eating, you best be reading this.


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Dudes Really Are The New Women
(In The Manliest Way, Of Course)

If you were to read the DappChap investment kit, the first thing you’d notice is the bold headline proclaiming that “Men Are The New Women”.

As if the dollar figure didn’t back it up enough (guys will spend up to $60.7 Billion on grooming products by 2020)…a barber in India is proving the point with a questionable trend.

Meet Gala took to putting his clients’ hair up in flames because he felt women get all the fun when it comes to salon options, so he thought he’d come up with something just for the lads.

Now, there’s a reason women never started setting their hair on fire (like, they’re not stupid).

Ask any woman who dealt with the wrong curling iron and she’ll tell you that burnt hair is the last thing you want to deal with.

Hair is meant to be cut and shaven whereas fire will weaken your hair (leaving you more prone to balding, ahem!) and even erode your hair’s natural sheen over time, meaning that you could be in your 20s and find yourself with the shag of a 70-year-old.


And Most Obnoxious YouTube Channel Award Goes To…

There’s an old saying that “when shoeshine boys give stock advice, it’s time to pull out of the market”.

This adage is attributed to Joseph P. Kennedy, a successful American busy body who was one of the few high-profile players who avoided the devastating stock market crash of 1929.

He knew bad advice when he heard it and could single out poor sources of info when he saw them.

If Joey (you don’t mind if we call you that, do you?) were around today, he’d no doubt lift his shnoz at the obnoxious YouTube channel, Alux.

If you’re not familiar with Alux, let’s boil it down to this – it’s an excessively simplified version of Inc and Entrepreneur magazine and is essentially the junk-food equivalent of success advice.

Should you have a couple of minutes to burn, you can subject yourself to a litany of inane videos narrated by vacuous (and unidentified) woman who also seems to get away with delivering her lines in the most condescending way possible.

So if you’re into listening to bad regurgitated success advice targeted to people who rent rims for their cars, then dig in.

“We are a puny and fickle folk. Avarice, hesitation, and following are our diseases.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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