Fido Sucks – Here’s Why…

A man has to have the best smartphone to suit his needs and I was very eager to provide an unboxing/review of the iPhone SE.

Thanks to one of Canada’s worst mobile carriers, Fido – that’s not happening.

First, let’s start about how Fido sucks by shitting the bed right out the gate…with its online ordering process.

See, the sale should never have gone through, because Fido didn’t have any iPhone SEs in stock to sell.

Why is a company as big as Fido so inept as to not have an inventory tracking system in place to monitor inventory levels in real time?

Fido certainly can’t plead ‘mom and pop’ status when they’re owned by the publicly traded giant known as Rogers.

If only, in 2020, there was an example that Fido sucks by way of its ecommerce game.

Hmm, well there is that one company out of Seattle called Amazon.

If you try to order something that’s out of stock, Amazon lets you know.

They will not sell you any item they are out of stock of.

That’s how a REAL company operates.

As you can see, there is NOTHING to indicate that the iPhone SE is sold out or in limited quantity:

fido customer service

That’s the first big screw-up in the sales cycle.

As you’ve might have guessed, it keeps getting better. So there is no phone for them to actually send me.

I’m led to believe that I can expect a 2-day delivery, or, at the very least, not more than six if I don’t fall into the ‘select areas’.

Well, 8 days later, I get an email from Fido telling me that not only has my phone NOT been sent, the order has simply not be processed at all.

Take a good look at the email – notice anything special about it?

That’s right – these felchers are sending this notice from a NOREPLY email address.

Well, Fido, what if I’ very unhappy with this news and want to cancel my order?

Well, obviously, I can’t do it by email as Fido has made a point of making sure I can’t reply to what they send.

So, I do what I absolutely DO NOT want to do – I actually called Fido…and waited 20 minutes to speak to one of their ghetto-reps.

And when I say ghetto, I mean I scored the red card. You could practically hear this guy day dreaming of hitting a pipe as soon as work is done.

First thing pipe-smasher tells me is that my iPhone SE is out of stock for up to 3 weeks.

Seriously, when did Fido think it’s ok to boast 2-day fulfillment to trying to sneak a 3 to 4 week delay under the radar?

During the call, this tosser of salads tried to get me to switch to another model from the iPhone Se three times.

Fucking seriously – imagine if this were modern dating. He would’ve been me-tooed into hiding.

I kept pushing him to cancel the order of the phone and to send email confirmation – and then, IT happened.

The simp dropped the call. Despite having ALL of my contact info right there in front of him, he didn’t call back.

Dude – if you were the one taking that call and you’re watching this now, just know that you are the reason humanity progresses at the speed of sludge. 

So, since Fido’s reprobate, I mean representative, dropped the call, didn’t call back and I wasn’t too randy about waiting another half an hour to speak to another simp on the phone, I started looking at the alternatives.

First stop was to try and find the order for my phone on the website.

Spoiler alert: You can’t – you can access and pay your phone bill at any time, but they deliberately hide your pending phone order.

Think I’m going hard using the term ‘deliberate’?

Check this out:

Well, isn’t that perfect.

I want to cancel the order because its already late and can take up to 3 more weeks, but I’d have to wait to receive it and only then be able to return it for being late.

Obviously, this doesn’t work for me, so I attempt to avoid being put on hold on the phone by hitting them up on email, which they do not offer, but worth a shot.

I sent an email to the following addresses:


At worst I expect a bounce for one or two emails, but got this for ALL THREE addresses:



fido mobile emailThat’s the problem with Canada – too many Canadians simply accept this.

According to WhistleOut, Canadians spend between 15%-40% more on their cell phone plans compared to Americans.

It’s not just the U.S., either. Check out this tweet from a Canadian in Singapore:


The new plan Fido offered me with my iPhone order was 5GB for $50 and I can’t even be given decent customer service or a simple order cancellation option.

Well, I did manage to find a local source for the iPhone SE, so I won’t need to wait for Fido to stop sucking to deliver that unboxing / review.

Bottom line: Fido sucks and it beyond reparable.