If you’ve been creeping on the Rock’s Instagram feed and decided it’s your turn to go full Hulk…
…just make sure you check out these common gym scams before taking the plunge.
Some of these gym scams have been around forever.
Others are newer trends being shared among gym owners behind closed seminar doors.
Most Common Gym Scams:
- Activation fees – you can thank telecom companies for this one.
Here’s the straight dope about activation fees – they offer the end consumer zero value. None whatsoever.
All the major telecom companies are publicly-traded entities.
As such, their shareholders encourage them to keep making that bottom line bigger.
If a gym you’re applying to tries to pass their cost of doing business onto you, tell them there’s a LOT more money to be made on continual payments and that forfeiting that loot for a one-time BS charge is foolish.
- Card fee – gyms are trying to save money on labor costs by using automated gates.
Some gym owners can’t stop there.
They also feel a need to charge you (on average) $20 for a cheap plastic card they imported from China which is actually worth $0.002.
- Yearly maintenance fee – Are you a renter by any chance?
OK, when was the last time your landlord charged you an extra 15% on top of your yearly rent?
Seem kinda screwy? Yeah, we thought so.
- “No Contract” – Just because a gym says they don’t do contracts, doesn’t mean you won’t have paperwork to fill out.
After all, gyms require information to process your application – and that’s where some less-than-savory types will sneak in small extra small print (we’re talking 5-point font here)
This super-sneaky fine print will oblige you to give two months notice, even if you’re “not under contract”.
- The Stress Snag – Know what one of the leading reasons behind people quitting the gym is? Too busy.
No, it’s not an excuse. The average urbanite works close to 50 hours a week and spends another 10 to 12 hours a week commuting.
Gyms (especially low-priced franchises like Planet Fitness) know this fact and will only allow for you to cancel your membership in person, which most people delay, because, hey – it’s only $10 a month, right?
Just remember that before you sign anything that you’ve carefully read through everything.
Speaking of Gyms:
Please Don’t Be “That One Guy”
If you’re new to the gym this season, you’re far from alone.
This is the biggest season for gyms.
Every dude and his dog wants to become the next Adorable Adrian Adonis come January (/s).
Year in, year out, it’s the same story – memberships at gyms spike in January only to shrivel back to normal levels by February.
The (anti) fun is in what goes on inside that vacuum between the 1st of the year and the end of February.
This vacuum makes life unbearable for gym-goers who use the facility year-round.
So if you’ve read through the gym scams, feel you can deal with them, here’s what tourists do that annoys the living shit out of regulars:
- Not cleaning up after yourself: C’mon! Ever extend your hand for a shake, only to come into contact with a gooey, wet palm?
Multiply that by four when you sit on moist equipment.
- Nesting – Look, we know how cushy-to-the-tushy that pec-flexor seat happens to be.
That’s still no reason to sit there and for a round of right-swipes and updating your FB status to “shoulders day” while others need to get through their set.
Don’t cause anyone any unnecessary waiting.
- Exposing everyone to your soundtrack – We get it, you’re the new Rocky.
But your soundtrack should be nestled into your ear for your listening pleasure ONLY.
Given that most gyms play music, no one wants to hear what Eye of the Tiger sounds like when mixed with Rihanna.
- The Day-Gamer – we’ll admit it…there are a lot of very beautiful, fit women to be found in a gym.
But here’s the thing – like work, a lot of people aren’t at the gym because they want to be.
They’re there out of necessity.
By trying to mac on all the honeys at your club, you’re only going to poison the atmosphere and draw a lot of negative energy your way.
- No selfies – Jesus, what are you, like fucking 12 or something?
We really shouldn’t even have to explain this one. Sack up already.
“Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it.”
- George Orwell