Let’s cut to the chase – It’s time for you to break up with your girlfriend – especially if you’re reading this around December or March.
Why those two specific times?
Those are the two times a year that the most break ups occur.
I can still remember a break up that I had initiated myself almost 15 years ago during a cold, grey November in Montreal.
While I was the one who pulled the trigger (too many complications), it still hurt.
When I told a coworker about it, he told me that I’m not alone and that a lot of people break up in the fall.
It was the first time I had heard of this phenomenon.
He explained the reason so many people break up between the start of fall and the two weeks leading up to Christmas is that people is for two reasons:
- Winter is cocooning season and more time together indoors – if you no longer feel the same about someone, spending five long months in close quarters becomes an unacceptable proposition.
- Faking for family – Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy and who wants to wear a phony smile for several days and put on displays of affection when they feel no affection for that person.
Signs it’s Time to Break up With Your Girlfriend
Body language – unbelievable how many men miss this clue.
We live in an age of selfies, so take a close look at how the two of you appear on camera. Seriously.
If something is changing in the relationship, take a close look at the story your bodies tell.
Are you standing further apart?
What about the smiles – do they look genuine?
Are either of you tilting away from the other?
Drama – I just told you about how I broke up with that girl in Montreal because of an excess of complications.
Life is hard, we work hard and have our own shit to deal with.
Why suffer the extra burden of sharing time with someone who conjures problems out of nowhere.
The fact is, some women cannot be happy. Perhaps past trauma they never got over hard-wired them into a state of perpetual misery.
It could also come from shitty parenting (which just keeps getting worse).
Whatever the case, it is not your job to prop up any other adult.
If they can’t be happy, then that’s just something that person needs to work on before even considering getting into a relationship.
You Still Haven’t Met Anyone – You never want to jump the gun and start meeting your new girl’s entourage too soon.
However, if it’s past the six month mark and you still haven’t met at least ONE of her friends, never mind her parents, that’s a very strong signal.
Before You Break up With Your Girlfriend:
- Always keep two in the kitty (Hat tip to Roissy for this one):
Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need.
It builds confidence and encourages boldness with women if there is another woman, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a grinding dry spell.
A woman knows once she has slept with a man she has abdicated a measure of her power; when she has fallen in love with him she has surrendered nearly all of it.
But love is ephemeral and with time she may rediscover her power and threaten to leave you. It is her final trump card. Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone.
Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.
Hard as it was, my break up was made easier by the fact that I had forged a digital friendship with two women I had met through a writing group.
Never once did I flirt or attempt to stray with either woman, but once they got word that I was single, I got to have some fun only two nights after the break-up.
Bottom line is that making sure you pad your landing once you pound on that “exit button” is essential.