Why was this piece on online dating advice for men created?
Because there are simply too many female bloggers & vloggers out there harping deliriously about what a crappy experience online dating is for them.
While it’s fair to say that it’s a minefield for all involved, it’s time we address perils awaiting all the dudes out there.
Men, if you spot any of these girls on your dating site of choice…run.
Ladies, if you happen to be watching, welcome to the other side of the online dating world.
And now, for the soundest Online Dating Advice for Men you’ll get all year – if you identify the following five types of women do what you must…
…block, run or move to another country – just keep them the hell away from you.
Other dating advice you’ll want to consider:
The perils of dating a coworker.
#1 – The Husband Hunter:
To observe the husband hunter in her natural habitat is to bear witness to a need for domestication on at its most extreme.
The Husband Hunter will put security and predictability far ahead of things like love…
…and laughter and social compatibility, or what the ancient sages would refer to as the cornerstones of a relationship with a chance of lasting.
My personal experience with one husband hunter saw her recommending a first date take place over dinner…at her parent’s house.
On a scale 1 to 1o on the crazy scale, that one’s 212…as in the temperature required to boil bunnies.
#2 – The Man Hater Who…Needs A Man
This one’s special.
She hates you and all other men out there.
But she also hates herself because she wants what you’ve got.
What a pickle.
You’ll recognize the man hater right away when she starts talking about what a piece of shit her last boyfriend was…
…and the same for the guy she dated before that and the guy before him until you get the impression like she’s had bad luck her whole life.
In fact, she’s never met a man who is NOT a piece of shit.
To engage the man-hater is to risk having your nether regions recoil inward and your masculinity assailed on a regular basis.
#3 – The Nurse Rached
Ever read One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest or watched the movie?
Then you’re familiar with how callous the fair sex can be.
Unlike the Man-Hater, the Nurse Ratched doesn’t hate men, because she doesn’t understand them. Or women.
Who the hell knows how she got to being so socially detached and unable to relate to others…
…but you’ll know her when you ask her how her day is going and she responds by accusing you of playing games for asking such a question.
#4 – The Disney Princess
We’ll admit it, she’s probably hot…most chicks into luxury cosplay are by default.
However, like the old saying goes, “doesn’t matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is sick of her shit.”
Truer words were never spoken.
Sometimes the Disney Princess got to being the way she is not just because of her looks, but also because her parents actually convinced them she was akin to royalty with an incessant barrage of compliments.
You’ll recognize the princess once you check out her profile and it reads like a job application.
…a job only George Clooney or Henry Cavill can fill.
As a confident man, you might be tempted to try and see what could happen.
But be warned – despite her pleasant exterior the Disney Princess’ soul is a scorched, barren field governed by the cold winds of entitlement and self-indulgence.
#5 – The Lifer
More common than you may think, some women have given themselves over to online dating for good.
Is it an addiction?
Uh, I guess so.
Some tell-tale signs you’ve encountered an online dating lifer include:
She’ll instruct you on how many pictures to put on your profile or to list what pastimes you enjoy, like she was appointed hall monitor.
You’ll also find her on EVERY single dating site.
Now, think about that for a moment.
Nothing wrong with dipping your toes in a couple of streams…
…but just think of how many popular dating sites there are, and how each one has thousands of guys registered.
How much of a spiritually-broken emotional burn victim must you be to not find even ONE guy in all that variety?
Online Dating Advice for Men: Bonus Round
Ok, so we’ve covered the most explosive/unstable women to avoid, but there are a few others (let’s call them dishonorable mentions) you should also avoid.
They’re nowhere near as toxic as the main five, but they will just throw a wrench in your works.
Ain’t nobody got time for that!
#1 – The ‘hi gal’
Either is happens once or it’ll go on a couple more times, but it’s always a waste of time.
If you say ‘hi’ and she only responds with ‘hi’, things aren’t going to work.
Goes beyond just the ‘hi’ thing.
If you ask her what her favorite cuisine is and she simply answers ‘Mexican’, but tells you nothing more than that, just delete her from your favorites.
Just don’t block her – neglect has proven to school ‘hi gal’ into putting in more effort if she’s genuinely interested.
#2 – The Toe Dipper
If you’ve got any measure of online dating experience, you may have encountered The Toe Dipper.
How is she identified?
Your dashboard stats show you she keeps checking out your profile.
Depending on the site/app your using, you can see she’s ‘linking / hearting’ pics you post of yourself.
Interest has been established.
Further to that, you guys have pretty good chats/texts…while they’re happening.
And then she kind of vanishes. You don’t hear much, you don’t see much and then – shebambo! – she’s back and hits up your inbox.
Conversation’s going great (again) and more radio silence.
This essential means she’s in a relationship that is falling apart at the seams, and needs to see what’s out there before raising the final ounce of nerve juice she requires to end said relationship.
Could also be that she’s single and averse to online dating, but one of her besties told her how to ‘dip a toe’ to feel things out.